It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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