Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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