Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
