You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
