Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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