Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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