If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
