Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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