Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
