I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
