fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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