sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
