can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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