So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
