i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want a musical about memes.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
