Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
