We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
