just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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