These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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