i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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