we should wear snuggies to the strip club
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
