Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize