this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
