3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
