do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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