just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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