you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
