she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
