I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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