I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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