Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
