Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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