oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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