My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
