so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Randomize
