We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
