Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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