If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
