I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize