i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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