eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
