so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize