I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
