Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
only if we run a train.
done.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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