Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
