Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
