When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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