I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
