I didn't shave. On purpose
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
