Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
