4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
