Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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