it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
