If that was your dad, he is hot
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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