I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
