just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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