If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize