It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
